When we feel that we are no longer happy or are uncomfortable with the life situation in which we find ourselves, we should not resign. We have to take control of the situation and find a way to start over and be happy.
Different people choose different strategies to change their lives, but knowing which ones will not work for you is also important. So, this article will talk about the decision to make a change and start over in life from scratch, how to deal with it and what strategies can be helpful to achieve it.
Change and a fresh start for happiness
We know that life may not be easy. It is a road with ups and downs, a journey in which we may find ourselves at a dead-end, a point where we cannot or do not want to go any further, and we have to change our path to move forward. We do not have to resign ourselves, and even though we may be afraid to leave the current state of things behind, we must consider it an action to improve.
Uncertainty, not knowing what may happen, causes us fear and can lead us to stop striving to reach our goals for fear of what may come. When we are no longer comfortable with our life situation, when we are no longer happy, or realize that we have made a mistake, rectifying and changing is the only option that can help us regain our well-being.
Strategies for starting over in life
Once we have decided to change and start again, we can help ourselves with psychological strategies to facilitate the process. As we have already seen, change is not easy, especially if it is linked to such an essential factor as our future plans and hopes. Some of us hope to move to a different country or find a love of their life, while others crave to be mentioned among the most famous prose authors or paper writers in the world. So let’s see what advice we can follow to make this start as positive as possible.
1. Embrace change
Although it seems logical and obvious, sometimes it is not so simple, and we have to work on ourselves to accept change. In our mind, an opposition arises between wanting to change and fearing it, which activates a defense that provokes self-sabotage of the change itself. For this reason, it is necessary that we first take time to accept what we want and what we are going to change, bearing in mind that we will start a complex and difficult process.
2. Reflect on your past
When it comes to such a significant change as starting over in life, we should not be in a hurry to take action, and we will try not to do it impulsively. This reflection should be done regarding past, present, and future aspects. In order for the change to be positive and for us to achieve our goals, we have to assess what past things we want to change, what factors of the present we do not want to repeat, and how to face the future and the goals we want to reach.
3. Positive approach
Although maintaining a positive approach may seem like a typical piece of advice from any source on the Internet, it can help us eliminate unnecessary fatalism. Although it does not assure us that things will go well, our state to face them will be better, thus being easier to overcome adversities. Likewise, seeing the past and its bad experiences or mistakes as events that have allowed us to learn favors change and being better with ourselves.
There are events that we would erase from our lives if we could, but as this is impossible, the best thing we can do is to accept them and make the most of them: to serve us as a warning, a reminder to avoid them happening again.
4. Reconcile with your past
To achieve progress and favorable change, we must first reconcile with everything that happened in the past. We may have made mistakes and experienced bad moments, events that have had repercussions on our state, but to improve our quality of life, we cannot simply act as if nothing had happened and deny it. It is necessary to work, accept, and reposition what happened to continue living without it affecting us. Facing and forgiving all that is happening around you is the only way to overcome it.
5. Set realistic goals
To stay motivated and keep moving forward, especially at the beginning, when fear is more intense, it helps to see that the small steps we take are positive and rewarding. For this reason, we should try to ensure that the goals we set, especially those that are short-term, are realistic and achievable to encourage progress, reduce fear and confirm that the decision to change we have made is the right one.
6. Learn that mistakes are fine
Life is not always easy, and we are likely to make mistakes. We must be aware of this and accept that it is a normal event that can happen and that we can learn from. Forgiving ourselves for our mistakes and being aware that we can make them again without this implying failure facilitates a better state of mind, both within ourselves and our environment.
7. Take your time
All the processes mentioned so far of accepting, reflecting, and reconciling need time. We cannot expect to start from scratch and that everything goes smoothly or we feel comfortable from the first moment. We will need time to assimilate what is happening and the changes taking place. For this reason, it is essential to give ourselves a period of adaptation and not rush if we are uncomfortable. For example, whatever your project is, make the first few days easier to achieve your objectives.
8. Embrace the benefits of social support
Feeling supported by the people we love is essential, not only in situations of change but at any time in our lives. Even if you have to make the change yourself, and it is up to you to choose how to do it, advice, opinions, and social support will make the process less complicated without having to go through it alone.
9. Stay away from the bad influence
Starting over does not always have to mean breaking with all our past. There may be aspects or people that benefit us and with whom we do not want to break up with. But we must also be aware of what is harmful to us, and it is necessary to move away from it if we want to experience positive changes. Avoid situations that bring out the worst in you or put you back in your past self or people who do not look out for your well-being, judge your past actions, or do not allow you to progress.
10. Take charge of your life
As you can see, you have to be the one who accepts and makes the change, so you have to be convinced of it and be willing to do it. The fast-paced life we live does not allow us to act as we want. We allow ourselves to be influenced by other people, allowing time to pass without doing what we really want and feeling good about it.
In the end, you are the only one responsible for your decisions, so try to make them your own choice, even if you realize later that you have made a mistake. It is better to take a risk by deciding on your own that you are convinced of than to go through life following the decisions of others.
11. Be flexible
Flexibility is one of the most important skills for making progress and adapting both to what happens outside and what we feel on the inside. To accept and implement change and start from scratch, it is essential to be flexible; otherwise, we will always be stuck in the past without being able to start a new life.
It is good and necessary to have a plan or set goals that we want to achieve, but if we see that the strategy used is not functional, we cannot stay fixed in that way of behaving. We need to vary and try another way of dealing with the situation, another path. We may need to change on more than one occasion.
13. Express your feelings
Just as it is good to maintain social relationships and feel supported, it is good to express how we feel in the process of change. We are starting a new life with the uncertainty and difficulties that this entails, so communicating and externalizing how we feel will help us be more aware of it, organize ourselves, and let off steam.
14. Trust yourself
You are the one who must direct and choose which path you want to take and follow. Therefore, it is essential that you trust yourself and that you can make mistakes but never lose confidence in yourself.
15. Do not hesitate to ask for help
If you feel overwhelmed by the situation, feel lost, or don’t know what direction to take or how to proceed, don’t hesitate to ask for help from a professional psychotherapist. In the end, starting a new life involves many changes that, as we have said, generate uncertainty and fear, so having the support of a trained person who can give us valuable strategies for our particular case is very helpful.