“This week in entertainment, we’re going to be talking about the three biggest disasters in club history. These are all events that were so bad they created a media circus and changed how clubs operate forever.”
“Ok, we’ll start with the smallest tragedy in club history. When the Thirteens were first getting started they wanted to play in a certain park in their hood and there was this big dog that would always harass them and try to bite them when they played. So one day, after repeated failed attempts at dealing with the dog owner and the animal control people, and solving this problem themselves they decided it was time to step things up. They brought a shotgun to practice and were planning on using that dog as an example for other dogs in the park.” “So what happened next?”
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“That’s the thing… no one knows. There are so many eyewitnesses with so many stories and yet, no one knows for sure. The only thing we know for certain is that there was a massive explosion at practice and everyone on the team who wasn’t at practice (including the catchers) woke up to their neighborhood literally rocking with sirens. They all ran outside and saw this giant putty-colored hand sticking out of the side of their park. They had never seen anything like it before. It was the size of a house and as thick as a tree trunk.” “Was anyone hurt?”
“One guy died, but that’s about all we know for sure. We’re pretty sure he was from another team though because to this day none of the Thirteens claims that he was on their team.” “Ok, so what’s the biggest disaster in club history?”
“This one is easy, it happened just last season. The Serengeti was playing against the Hotties and things were getting ugly. What started out as a game of baseball turned into an all-out brawl between both teams and their fans.”
“It was the top of the 8th inning and the Hotties were up to bat. They got a single, a double, another double, and then a triple. The Serengeti pitcher was losing it at this point and decided to plunk one of the Hottie batters right in his side. Now, the rules in club baseball say that if you throw at a batter’s head or hit him on purpose, it’s an automatic county jail sentence. The pitcher didn’t even get close to hitting the guy in the head and yet he got ejected from the game.” “That seems like a bit much.”
“Well, that wasn’t all, remember that the pitcher didn’t get ejected immediately. He was allowed to finish pitching that inning and he proceeded to walk in two runs, so now the Serengeti were losing 7-4.” “Ouch.”
“You’re telling me. The Serengeti fans couldn’t believe what they’d just seen and everyone knows how the Hotties fans get after a loss. Everyone knows that they like to burn things and loot and start fights.” “I’m guessing we’re going to see some bad stuff go down in this inning?”
“Well, there was one Serengeti fan who wasn’t having it. He was actually trying to stop his fellow fans from starting any kind of riot. He was trying to be the voice of reason and telling everyone that they should just go home.”
“So what happened?” “About three seconds after he says that, he gets hit in the back of the head by a bottle that was thrown from somewhere on the Hotties side. It didn’t kill him but it did knock him out. Unfortunately for this fan, that’s when things reached a tipping point.” “Did he die?”
“Not that day, no. It wasn’t until about two weeks later that the Serengeti fan actually passed away from the injuries he suffered. I think it was some blood clot thing or something… anyway, by the next morning there were people saying that the Hotties started the fight, there were people saying it was a lone Hottie fan who threw the bottle and then there were some people who just thought the whole thing was stupid.”
“Bummer.” “Yeah. The score ended up being 10-2 in favor of the Serengeti but the game was called after five innings. Not many people showed up for the next game and it wasn’t long before both teams were playing in different leagues.” “So what’s the last disaster?”
“I really shouldn’t tell you this one… it’s not something I like to talk about.” “Oh come on, it can’t be that bad.”
“Ok, it’s not that bad but just keep in mind that the stories I told you about were both pretty horrible.” “I can take it, spill your guts.”
“The Thirteens were playing against the Soccer Moms and it was bottom of the 9th inning. The bases were loaded with two outs and the Thirteens were on the verge of losing their fourth straight game. The score was tied 16-16 and it looked like they were going to have a chance at putting some runs on the board.”
Conclusion:
This article will explore three of the biggest disasters in club history and how they changed the way clubs operate forever. The first disaster we’ll discuss is that you never know who might show up to your party, which happened at Studio 54 when John Lennon showed up. Next, there was a woman who became pregnant after having sex with her boyfriend on the dance floor of an Australian nightclub called Stiletto. Finally, one night out drinking turned into a nightmare for two friends as someone drugged their drinks and sexually assaulted them while they were unconscious. These are all events that were so bad they created media circuses and changed how clubs operate forever—but not always for the better!
